Q. What gives you the right to tell me how to run my fantasy basketball team?

A. The Internet.

Q. Do I have to listen to all your advice?

A. Absolutely, if you happen to be my girlfriend. But you are probably not because I probably don’t have one because she probably dumped me because I run a fantasy basketball blog.

Q. If you give me crappy advice, can I punch you in the nose?

A. No, but you can roast me in the comments section. As long as you’re as funny as Jeff Ross.

Q. Do you run other fantasy sports blogs?

A. No, I sacrificed them all for the love of all things hoops.

Q. Have you ever played actual basketball instead of fantasy basketball?

A. Yes, I averaged about 7.4 PTS, 2.2 REB, 2.9 AST, 0.5 3PM, 1.1 STL, and 0.2 BLK in my college six-foot-and-under intramural league. I was not fantasy viable.

Q. Have you ever had an actual girlfriend instead of an avatar?

A. Enough with the frequently asked wise-ass questions already.

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